Relationship success is not accidental. There is no such thing as getting lucky with long term relationships that work. On the surface, it may seem like relationship success is just about finding someone compatible, but sooner or later, every relationship faces difficulty. It’s in those moments of struggle that every partner has a path to choose; a path of- self-protection or relationship first.  Every couple, no matter the conflict has the possibility to create a secure, conscious relationship, even if your neck-deep in conflict.
 
Couples work will focus on your specific goals, co-creation of the kind of relationship you want to create, and an overall vision of your future together. At Alignment, we like to think of couples therapy as re-branding your relationship. It is a clear process of identifying where you are now in your relationship and co-creating a clear and conscious path forward to create a relationship you both desire. Together we will:

• Look at your relationship patterns that have caused distress and disconnection.

• Examine and watch in real time how you are interacting or avoiding each other.

  • Are you able to attune to your partner?

  • Do you gaze lovingly at each other?

  • Do you use eye contact when communicating?

  • Can you read your partners face?

  • Or do you feel constantly dropped, missed, or abandoned by your partner?

  • Do you feel like your too much for your partner to handle? Too emotionally needy?

  • Do you feel like you need more space from your partner? More alone time?

  • Are you constantly triggered by your partner?

  • Do you feel misunderstood? Like you both keep missing each other when you try and communicate?

  • Can you read and tend to your partners non-verbal communication?

• Get answers, direction and repair the following:

  • Do you know your partners core emotional needs? Do you tend to them?

  • Can you see into your partner and understand them?

  • Are you both aware of how you have structured your relationship, and what has held you back from creating a connected relationship you both so desire?

• Learn how to self-regulate and co-regulate with each other

• Develop a deep relationship to your self by getting to know your inner parts (Inner child and shadow parts)

• Learn to self-soothe and feel safe in your body

• Gain tools and awareness to develop emotional intelligence and practice conscious and healthy communication

• Build healthy boundaries and listen to your bodies

• Make Self-Love and Us-Love and care a priority

• Clearly communicate our needs and wants with calmness and an open heart 

• Learn and understand the neurobiology of arousal and your brain in relationships. What is causing you to react the way you are.  Why your body goes into defense mode, freeze mode or avoid mode. 

• Become good handlers of each other.  Learn to shift, soothe, and repair quickly.

• Create new daily rituals that create connection.

• Develop clear boundaries and strategies for managing 3rds (anything outside of your relationship) together

• Create written agreements that will govern your relationship (ex. We have each other’s back always, we validate each other feelings always, we don’t talk about our relationship negatively to others, we greet each other first and with good cheer).

• Learn each other’s attachment history and how to heal, repair and re-connect with each other.  Master yourself and your partner through understanding where you and they came from and why you both react and behave the way they do. 

• Establish a nourishing two-person system called The “Couple Bubble”

• Create a new vision and path going forward.

• Learn to stand in your integrity and stop Self Abandoning.